Be a Hosting Hero

Whether you aspire to throw a heart-warming Friendsgiving, were voluntold to lead a work holiday party, or just can't stand the idea of another lackluster event, you're in good company this season.

At Tilden we aim to spark connection, rather than simply repeating the same old template or stressing to attain some purposeless Pinterest standard. Here are my top tips for hosting an unforgettable holiday gathering.

1. Know what you want. If the goal of your party is "to have a holiday party," you'll likely get what you asked for. By getting specific, you may find that your real purpose is to unify a new friend group, celebrate your team's wins, or treat your parents to a family party they didn't have to plan. Whatever the case, know what you're really looking for.
   
   
2. Be present at your own party. Don't put yourself in the role of absent host. I like to enjoy my own parties, and the best way to do that is to eliminate distracting game-time work. Choose a simple, ready-to-pour drink option that can be set on the bar cart or table. A sophisticated drink with an easy elegant garnish will delight your guests and help you focus on them instead of mixing and measuring. See our classic pours for inspiration. If you're having a dinner party, and your real purpose isn't to show off your Iron Chef potential, swap the favorite grilled chicken that keeps you over the stove for 20 min right before dinner for a recipe that can be broiled in the oven without supervision, or a pot roast that can be ready 30 minutes before and kept warm.
   
   
3. Take charge of a key moment. We've all seen the host who doesn't want to impose. In truth, you're doing your guests a service when you create structure and flow at your gathering. Your guests may be asking what did we all get together for? Or how do I move on from this conversation? A thoughtful interruption should be refreshing and uniting. A key moment could be a toast, a piñata, lighting the baked Alaska on fire, or the annual eggnog drinking contest. These all have something in common: they create a shared experience for everyone in the room, which bonds us together. Your key moment should help you and your guests achieve the goal of your gathering. If you plan to do a toast, be sure that everyone in the room can participate by offering a non-alc option.
   
   
4. Pay attention to the beginning and the end. The bookends of your party are crucial. I attended a friend's xbox party during undergrad where, as people tricked into the casual college apartment, everyone stopped and cheered rambunxiously for each new person. It started as a joke to see the reactions, but by the end it was a group ritual and the energy in the room was incredible. I came to that party knowing only the host, and left with 15 new comrades. I attended a friend's annual holiday party for several years where the hostess didn't have a large entryway or coatroom. She would station herself at the front door for the first 20-30 minutes to greet and chat with each guest while her teenage sons took coats and bags to an upstairs room. It may have started as a solution to a logistical issue during snowy season in Massachusetts, but as a result everyone at her party felt intimately cared for. Another friend of mine would formally close her parties by saying, "Thank you so much for coming, friends. Please don't leave without a hug." It signaled the party was over, giving guests permission to leave when they felt ready, and it created such a sense of warmth and love. How people feel when they arrive sets the tone, and how they feel when they leave seals the memory.
   
   
5. Pull in a complimentary co-host. Have you ever sat down at your photo-worthy tablescape to find you don't know how to get the actual party started? Often I find that people overthink the stuff of a gathering (décor, food, etc.), and underthink the interactions of a gathering. But it's also possible you were engaged in a lively conversation at your last fireside cocoa night until a guest asked if there were plates for the s'mores. Whatever your planning personality, consider how you might account for your hosting superpowers and weaknesses by inviting one of your would-be guests to cohost with you. It's a great way to fill in for your gaps and lighten the planning load. Plus, it can build momentum for RSVPs.